So I really think I should write a book about my life… here is an excerpt from my upcoming best seller… And not trying to compete with Jay’s best seller, but here you go. This is what today has been like for me. And FYI, we probably won’t actually know the results of Jay’s stress test until 6 tonight.

Not sure why God is testing me right now, but I am sure he has his reasons. Decided to stay home to work today because Jay seems to think he is coming home from the hospital after his heart stress test and I want to be ready just in case. I haven’t actually done any work this morning, mostly been nervously cleaning the apartment, while bad talking myself in my head, that I am not working like I should.

Then one of my clients texts me. It is one of the clients that I have been with for a year and a half and never had her site go down. Guess what? Her site is down and doesn’t know why. Naturally, I didn’t bring her folder home with me with the password to her server because why would I need that? Never need to get into the server but maybe once or twice a year. So I tell her I am at home, but will check it when I get up to the office after lunch. I figure it’s probably a good thing to go to the office since I am not actually working but stress cleaning and bad-mouthing myself to… myself.

Pack all my work stuff up then Jay texts that he thinks he failed the heart stress test, they had to reverse the chemical reaction to stress his heart and that he had one of his episodes in front of them (which, in my mind, is a good thing), but he won’t get on the phone because he is still out of breath. In addition, his phone charger that he has up there isn’t charging his phone so he only has like 20% and doesn’t want to waste it. So great! Don’t know anything really, just enough to let my imagination run wild with all the different variations of what could be happening. So I load in the car, take off to the office.

On the way to the office, I guess I pissed off this dude in a red work van, one of those new ones, same shape as Amazon vans, because he then follows me from Providence Rd all the way to my office, 5 miles away, while running red lights to keep up with me.

So now in the neighborhood on S. Plaza, I don’t ever like to speed in a neighborhood, everywhere else fine, but not a neighborhood. Children and pets are at play and I know I couldn’t live with myself if I caused an accident like that. But this time I am doing close to 40 mph in a 25 mph zone and the dude is keeping right with me.

Down S. Plaza Trail I fly. with him right behind me.

Realizing it is probably not safe to lead him directly to the location that I spend a majority of my weekdays at, I decide to turn into the neighborhood. I turn onto the street before the road my office sits. So does he. So I then speed up more, so does he. Until I get all the way down to South Blvd and bang a left and keep on pace. At this point, I am assuming that I have lost him, he gave up, or he really was going down that road for something else. Whatever the reason was, I am aware that I don’t need to find out so I go through the neighborhood on South Blvd to Mt. Trashmore. Turn up Edwin, then left onto Independence, and then back down to S. Plaza. One big giant square.

Still worried that the guy looked up my work logos on the internet from the back of my car and knows where I was going, I decide to drive past the office to the Dollar General. It is on the corner of Holland and S. Plaza next to the fire station, thinking I could run into the fire station if I needed to. (Plus, and just being honest here, I wanted to check to see if they still have those plastic pools for Elmi. They do not. Of course. Couldn’t have this one thing, could I? **Raising my fist to the sky, shaking it, and yelling “WHY?”** No not really, but still disappointed nonetheless.)

In the DG parking lot, I keep looking around to see if I spot his bright red, brand new company truck, but don’t. (And no I didn’t see what company it was, I wasn’t thinking about that when I went around him, I was just trying to get in front of him because I drive faster in a small little GTI and he DOES NOT in a big huge work van. But obviously that pissed him off enough to follow me to where I was going. Makes complete sense to a psychopath, I guess.)

So get back into the car and drive back to office, drive around back of the building then finally end up parking, backed in to a spot in front of my office window. Unload my car, and carry in my purse, work bag, new keyboard/mouse, food, etc. into the foyer, through my office suite door, then into my office. Go to turn on my laptop… nope… no laptop. Look around, had I forgotten it in the car? Is it still at the house? No, I remember packing it up and laying it down on the couch… annnndddd that is where it is. OK, good grief Joy, what the hell?. Grab my purse, drive back home, staying vigilant of my surroundings, no sighting of the big red work van and get my laptop from its safe little place on my couch.

Drive back down S. Plaza and there is stand still traffic… there is never stand still traffic here. Finally get up to where a car is pulled over with their flashers going on one side of the road and on the other side, a husky dog laying on his side, eyes wide with uncertainty, panting, with people standing over top of him. He had been hit by the blue car with its flashers going. (Why they didn’t move him to the grass I don’t know, maybe he was too badly injured, but I would think that asphalt was extremely hot and not helping him.)

The second I roll past the poor dog on the ground and the accident, I burst into tears. Yep, that was my limit. Was wondering when I was going to hit it and there it was. There in all its ugly-crying glory. Slowly I drive back to the office sobbing, and somehow seem to dry it up in the parking lot, get inside, plug in the laptop, turn it on. First window that pops up is the internet browser I was using at home to check my client’s site. Page loads. Site is fine… just fine… no issues… just bright and beautiful, staring back at me, as if smirking and saying, “what? that wasn’t fun for you?”

I mean WTF!